I am in Boston this weekend to say goodbye to an old friend. Here is the death notice, which appeared today in the Boston Globe
Of Boston, formerly of New York City on December 23, 2007, writer, teacher, and drunk, sober 31 years. Loving father of Ian Gold and his wife Maria Cisterna Gold of Dorchester. Doting grandfather of Gabriela Gold and Ruby Gold. A widower, was a devoted husband to Vera Gold. Survived by his sister, Judith Stitzel, of West Virginia. Sponsor and friend to many in AA. Family and friends are invited to a memorial service at the First Church in Boston, 66 Marlborough St., Boston, on Saturday, February 23rd at 1:00 p.m. Donations in his memory may be made to The Writers’ Room of Boston, 111 State Street, 5th Floor, Boston, MA 02109.
here is an excerpt from an email I wrote tonight –
…We are snowed in. Ivan’s service is tomorrow at 1 pm in Boston. Should be able to get there. Don’t know what I’ll say yet. He loved me, made me feel okay, valued, esteemed. Made me feel loved. Opened his life and his family to me. Showed me how to live. How to do the right thing. What the right thing might be. How to examine my motives and to own up to doing the wrong thing. How to love a son. How to love a family, how to be part of one. How to want to be part of one. How to do the best one could with what one had. How to work and go on working. How to love and go on loving. How to suffer through heartache and keep going. How to start over with broken tools. What else is there to teach? What else is there to learn? He showed me that this was learning that would take a lifetime. And that if we died sober, died still trying to do the right thing, we won…