work in progress 1 poem or 2?

1.

Sweet sweet engine of mercy,
bright flying speck in the sun,
tomorrow I’ll be riding a donkey,
tomorrow I’ll be on my way home.

Ah! The invisible carnival ride,
I’m standing in line to climb on.
Twirling and spinning on bright wings,
Look out! Here we come!

2.

Mud and bone and fire and water,
blood and ice and cloud and slaughter.
Bloody, holy, hallowed ground
bloody, empty, silent sound.

Shining face upon the pillow,
little limber, sleeping willow.
Sleeping deeply we recall,
sleeping deeply we remember.

The ash upon the embers,
the fire within the cloud,
the sound seeking hearing,
the truth seeking sound.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in 'tis a gift to be simple, art, awakening, callings, dreamtime, electric cow, faith, fun stuff, hope, journal, light, love, lullabies, poetry, recovery, stories, wake up dude, works in progress. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to work in progress 1 poem or 2?

  1. ozymandiaz says:

    To begin with i would like to apologize. Somw five weeks back or so you left a comment on one of my photos on flickr (born free) and I did not see it until this morning. Please, use it, I am honored.
    Now, concerning works in progress, i really like the feel of the first one. it has a cool bouncy beat to it
    as for the second, i like the individual stanzas but that is a hard shift between the first and second. as i said though, the individual stanzas are amazing. its as if each could spawn their own poem.

    Like

  2. johemmant says:

    I like both very much too but think the second the better write.

    Like

  3. rick mobbs says:

    Thanks Oz, I took your suggestion for the 2nd one as you can see in the next post. Number 1 above bugs me but I’m moving on. It is like I was writing just to see the words appear under my hands. The idea if individual stanzas spawning their own poems is intriguing.

    Thanks for the use of the photo. I’ll find my way back to it.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s